From People-Pleasing to Radical Presence

Why Black Women People-Please

For too long, Black women have been told that our value lies in how well we care for others. We give. We pour. We stretch. We show up. And often, we disappear in the process.

This isn’t weakness; it’s survival. It’s the way we were taught to earn love, to stay safe, to avoid punishment. But here’s the truth: people-pleasing is a mask too. And it comes at a cost.

The Cost of People-Pleasing

The cost is YOU. Your joy. Your rest. Your voice.

When you are constantly shrinking, silencing, or overextending, you lose the ability to show up as your whole self. That loss isn’t just personal. It ripples into your relationships, your work, and your future.

Radical Presence: The Shift We Need

In The Radical Act of Saving Your Damn Self!, I call this the moment of radical presence. Radical presence is when you stop abandoning yourself in service of everyone else’s comfort. It’s when you decide:

My needs are not optional. My boundaries are not negotiable. My healing is not on pause.

Why Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish

This isn’t selfish; it’s sacred. Because every time you choose yourself, you make space for others to choose themselves too. That’s the ripple. That’s the revolution.

 Grab your copy of The Radical Act of Saving Your Damn Self!